Summer 2009 | Volume 107 | Number 652
Survivor's Guilt
Recessions generate complicated new feelings.
Robin and Paul Domeier are blessed. The Thrivent Financial for Lutherans members have a home, healthy children and good careers. Paul, a Charlotte, North Carolina, newspaper editor, has so far been spared the fate of about 30,000 newspaper staffers across the country who have been laid off or bought out since June 2007. Robin's personal-chef business, run from their home, has taken a slight hit, but she feels fortunate to be working at something she loves that lets her be home with the kids.
Yet, despite their good fortune, the Domeiers are struggling. In this economy, even those who've been spared the trauma of a pink slip, decimated 401(k) or foreclosure are feeling the impact – and not only financially.
"There's a climate of fear," Robin says. As residents of Charlotte, the home base for embattled firms such as Wachovia and Bank of America, the Domeiers have had front-row seats to massive corporate layoffs and their repercussions. The metro area's unemployment rate hit 11.4% in April, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, leaving nearly 100,000 workers without jobs and making Charlotte one of the nation's hardest-hit cities. "Many of our friends have lost jobs. It's difficult to see people struggling … and hard not to wonder if we'll be next."
The Domeiers want to help, and they find themselves wrestling with the question of what they can offer when their own resources are already tight.
"We wish we had been better stewards of our finances," Paul says, "but like many people, we overextended ourselves when times were good, and now we feel guilty that our income is tied up." Along with guilt comes the Domeiers' concern that their financial footing may appear to be more secure than it is.
Of course, charity isn't limited to monetary contributions, so the Domeiers are pursuing alternatives. Along with other members of their church's men's group, Paul is donating his time and physical ability to people in need of yard work and home repairs, and Robin is offering emotional support to struggling friends.
"Also," Paul says, "our prayer list is getting very long." Their sense of gratitude is expanding, too. They've found that getting involved makes them feel more hopeful. "Now there's a sense of community around these issues," Paul says. "It has become a shared experience. Talking about it and helping each other gives us a sense that things will be all right."
– N.W.
Read More: