Winter 2012 | Volume 110 | Number 662
Your Thoughts
No More Sibling Rivalry
Members share tips for encouraging loving relationships between their kids.
Photo Credit: Thomas Northcut/Getty Images
The rules of my house were simple: No name calling, no physical violence and, if you have to, take it outside. If I saw a rule broken, the kids had to stand face-to-face and say "I love you" five times. It must have worked: They are all still very close 30 years later.
Leah Benson
Brookings, South Dakota
We have two wonderful boys, born two years apart. All through their younger years, they were best buddies. However, I remember one time when they were perhaps 6 and 8. They had been playing outside, and then they suddenly burst into the house crying and crabbing about each other. I made them sit down on the sofa, hold hands, look at each other and tell each other something "good" about the other and how much they loved each other. In no time, they were laughing and back out to play. They still remain best buds at ages 21 and 23. I've been blessed with two wonderful young men that I can still call "my boys."
Gigi Koenig
Schofield, Wisconsin
When my three children were young, I told them that they could argue and even be angry at each other, but they could not be rude, mean or insulting. It taught them tact and kindness. If they bickered a bit too much, I sat the boys in two chairs, one on each side of the buffet. They were told they could go and play after they said something nice about each other. Their little sister would help by whispering something nice for them to say. As adults, they are great friends and still offer "constructive criticism" to each other and often compliment each other.
Alice Teel
Perry Hall, Maryland
When my two sons were very young, I told them they would have no other relationship this side of heaven that would be as enduring and fulfilling as being brothers. Their relationships with their parents, wives and friends would all necessarily be shorter than with each other, so they may as well love each other. And they did, and they do. I am reminded of the time I took my eldest with me to the bank. He was perhaps 3 or 4. The teller offered him a balloon, which he reluctantly took. When she asked why he wasn't happy, he just looked at her and asked: "Can I please have one for my bruzzer, too?"
John Strizver
Ramona, California
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